Zippy Discovers His Mission
Zippy woke up one morning
to his alarm clock of rotating Latin dancers dancing to the tunes of salsa
when a thought struck his hard head. "Hey I need a job". Zippy
hadn't possessed a job since the time of Christopher Columbus's landing
at San Salvador. So after so much time he was ready for something.
He had his usual, high-octane 100%
Juan Valdez Colombian Coffee
as he perused the newspaper. He couldn't find anything 
worthwhile to benefit humanity so he decided to take a walk through the
streets of his town, Skunk's Misery, Alabama, to get some lolli-pops
at the lolli-pop shop. As he set foot outside his door ready to take-off,
running full sprint through streets screaming "Viva la Mocha," as he was
often occasioned to do, he was met by Gandalf the Gray, world heavyweight
boxer, wizard and running back for the Detroit Station-wagons. Zippy
said," Hark who goes there that dost come hither from thence," and Gandalf
said ,"Shut-up kid, are you coming or aren't you? ... to the Land of Middle
Earth to Slay dragons and get treasures and own your own Mini-Cooper."
Zippy said, "Well shiver-me-timbers if it ain't mi good friend Gandalf."
Zippy said he would but this day he was on a mission far more suspenseful…to
get a job and help humanity …and to get his mother tickets to the World
Championship Monster Truck
Extravaganza for her birthday. Gandalf thought that reasonable
enough and said he had some laundry to do anyhow...so he postponed the trip.
Before Gandalf departed he gave Zippy a good-bye noogie as he always did
and informed him about the devastating news that someone had stolen Juan
Valdez’s Donkey,
Halupkie
. At this Zippy briefly feinted. “WHAT?”